"Going the Distance” opens with an average-looking Garrett (Justin Long) getting dumped by a hot girl (Minka Kelly). Hours later, he meets Erin (Drew Barrymore) at a bar. They bond over a pitcher of beer and go home together. Six weeks later, she moves back to San Francisco and they decide to do the long-distance thing.
If that brief synopsis doesn’t blow your skirt up, it’s probably because the film is woefully unoriginal. There are a few predictable laughs mined from familiar sources – a poop gag, masturbation, a spray-tanning mishap (think Ross from “Friends”), some “Top Gun” references that will amuse those of us who grew up in the ’80s.
However, the film sticks closely to rom-com conventions. The guy chases the girl through the airport; Barrymore’s Erin is a reporter (aren’t they always?) and a skeptical Greek chorus of colorful friends offers unsolicited advice.
The film tries to pit Erin and Garrett in an unlikely alliance, but in this genre, they’re a perfect fit. At least, the on-again, off-again-in-real-life Long and Barrymore ignite some sparks in an otherwise lackluster effort from Academy Award-nominated documentary filmmaker Nanette Burstein (“On the Ropes”). “Going the Distance” marks her feature film directorial debut.
The wrench in this budding romance is that Erin has a mere six weeks left in New York before she heads back to Stanford to finish journalism school. Her summer internship at the New York Sentinel is ending. Yep, she’s a college student, behind in her life because of – what else? – a former flame. That’s why she’s not looking to start a relationship but does anyway, otherwise there wouldn’t be a movie. Cue the courtship montage – Erin and Garrett at the beach; Erin and Garrett at Central Park; Erin and Garrett drinking bad wine at a restaurant in Little Italy, blah, blah, blah.
Erin leaves. Texting, sexting, Skyping and late-night phone calls ensue. Jealousy and uncertainty arise, as the film settles into trying to explore the nuances and hurdles of a geographically challenged relationship. Whenever the script – by first-timer Geoff LaTulippe – tries to get serious, it falls into a vat of corn syrup.
“I want a real relationship with you. I love you. You are my best friend,” is as deep as the dialogue gets. Though they see each other only a couple of times over the duration of the film, you never really feel the strain of the distance through the trite lines an unconvincing performances.
